Happiness can be our normal state - the foundation from which we live our lives
We all want to be happy. When women are asked what they truly want from life – relationships, job, and family
– they often say, “I just want to be happy.” So why is being happy so
elusive? Happy, the term I use to define the state of feeling happiness,
can be our normal state. It can be the foundation from which we live
our lives not just on those days when things magically go well. We can
start our day with happy and return to it throughout the day. It can
become our way of life.Remember the commercial ‘Calgon, take me away’ showing an overworked mom drifting into peace and happiness in her bathtub? We know that when we do step away from our busy lives and either nurture ourselves or allow another to nurture us, we feel rejuvenated and alive again. We are inspired and invigorated have the energy and emotional reserves to deal with whatever life brings to us. But we cannot always take time out of our day for special nurturing. We can include little activities in our day like enjoying a cup of tea, taking a bath before bed, reading an inspirational book or listening to music to bring us back to this place of peace. But how can we maintain that foundation of peace and happiness regardless of what is happening around us? How can we cultivate an inner calm that we can return to at a moment’s notice?
We can create Happy. It is within our power and ability to create a lasting, solid state of happiness no matter what life brings our way. There are five steps to creating this state of Happy and maintaining it.
Step 1 – Intention
To be happy, we have to first intend to be happy. By intention I don’t mean wishing we were happy. Wishing is passive and has no energy or force behind it. It doesn’t stick; it’s just a passing fancy like saying ‘I wish I was in Paris right now drinking an espresso and people watching.’ We often get our thinking stuck in passive mind wandering: ‘If I had a job/ boyfriend/ baby/ money then I would be happy.’ These ways of thinking actually push happiness away. They make happiness conditional. We are setting ourselves up to never be happy, because we are requiring so many conditions to be met before we can be happy. No wonder it’s elusive!
When we turn our intention to being happy no matter what then we are on the right track. Let yourself really want happiness. Allow yourself to feel what it would feel like to truly be happy for no specific reason. If it’s difficult to find that feeling, imagine a time when you were happy – holding a new baby, receiving a warm hug, being given a compliment, watching a sunset, smelling a flower. Now let that feeling spread throughout your whole body. Let that feeling of happiness shine brightly within you. Remember how that feels. Then state out loud that this is how you want to feel and believe that you are worthy of feeling happiness. You deserve it!
Step 2 - Attention
